i panic a little when i see posts with a lot of notes that i don’t understand
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Back when I worked at walgreens I didn't know witch hazel was a real thing people would come in asking for it and I'd be like yeah it's on aisle 3 next to the wolfsbane and eye of newt you fucking idiot bastard
By talos this can't be happening again
i like to think that Jack has never really participated in the Dibs tradition at SMH, he got his room because of stuff he did on the ice and he gave Chowder his room for the same reason. He thinks it's kind of silly and doesn't take it super seriously. SO when Shitty and Tater are like "me? best man? me be your best man?!" Jack kinda laughs and goes, "I dunno, dibs off for it," and then immediately forgets he sakd it.
Word that the honour of being Jack Zimmermann's best man is up for dibs spreads around SMH like lightning. Ransom spends half the engagement Kegster refilling Jack's red solo cup with sprite like a waiter in a fancy resturaunt who seems to appear the second you take a sip.
Dex maked Jack's favourite breakfast, Holster folds all of Jack's clothes and puts them in his overnight bag before he and Bitty leave the Haus. It keeps going into the summer, Nursey sends him and Bitty a framed poem about love and hockey that's half engagemtent gift half dibs bribery. After Ransom explains what Dibs are to Tater, he gets in on it. Jack's sticks are always taped for him and Tater volunteers to stay for extra ice time with him.
Eventually most of the team forgets about it, but not Shitty, Shitty will earn best man dibs not just because he wants them but because he has never ever lost a dibs off. Jack mentions that his kitchen could use a new coat of paint and Shitty's there within the hour with a can of paint and Lardo's big brushes. Every little thing he does gets slightly more unreasonable until he's standing in Jack's living room replacing Jack's lightbulbs with energy efficient lights and a dimmer switch because Jack mentioned that the lights at his place are kinda harsh sometimes and it's,
"Shits are you dying or something and not telling me?"
"What?"
"You dropped everything to come fix my light switch, what's going on?."
"Oh," Shitty says, "Uh, Dibs man."
"I'm not moving out?"
"No for the wedding. You said uh... dibs off for best man and well..."
"Oh Shits, seriously?"
Shitty nods and Jack pulls him into a hug that's so tight that Shitty's arms are stuck at his sides.
"It was always going to be you," Jack says
And Shitty looks like he can't believe it
"Always?"
"Who else would it be? There was no competition"
"Oh."
"But I do appreciate you fixing my toilet last week."
Shitty laughs.
"You can tell the other guys you one the dibs off though."
"Oh, I intend to."
And so just like that, Jack has a best man and Shitty Knight's dibs streak remains unbroken.
night at the museum is a franchise I wouldn’t have gotten sick of. they could have tried shoving 8 sequels and an animated series down my throat and I would have ate that shit up
the main cast is a night guard, an egyptian pharoah, sacagewea, teddy roosevelt, genghis khan, a miniature cowboy and roman ruler duo, a capuchin monkey, and a moai rock for godsake!!!!!!!!
in the second movie there was a scene where al capone ivan the terrible napoleon an egyptian and darth vader and oscar the grouch interact. ben stiller walks into a painting. the abraham lincoln memorial comes to life. the lil roman rides a squirrel into battle. the thinker is a fuck boy. like holy shit holy SHIT!!
this screenshot ALONE should make these movies worth your time
my dad attempted to text his mom a joke
So I actually know a little bit about this. The Toyota Matrices were made in one specific plant in California iirc, and the build quality on the cars was terrible. So when Toyota sent people to the plant to figure out what the hell was going wrong, they found that the plant was essentially being run by the mob, and there was prostitution happening on the factory floor
real shit?
UPDATE: Sources say Prince Phillip has crossed the Acheron and reached the Citadel of Adjudication in Limbo. When approached for comment, King Minos was quoted saying he was "Real excited for this one, real excited."
BREAKING: Sources say judgment has been passed. Our team astral projecting into hell as spotted a pair of Imps carrying Prince Phillips shade on a pair of meathooks over the plains of Lust.
UPDATE: An emissary from heaven appears to have arrived and interrupted Prince Phillips transportation deeper into hell. They appear to be carrying a young shade. At the time it is unclear what the aides of heaven want with the prince's shade.
UPDATE: ITS DIANA WITH THE CHAIR
bi women are women who like men in a gay way. wont elaborate
and bi men are men who like women in a gay way. dont ask questions
no youre right. youre absolutely right